Spring.Summer.Autumn.Winter.

4 seasons that Singapore will not have FOREVER.
but it still make people wonder which season will suit them the most.
which season they will like most.
but have you ever though that life is also like these 4 seasons?
=)


in Spring, everything will think of all those beautiful flowers that blossom in this period of the year.
life is all about beautiful things and wonders. u get to see every beautiful things in this world.
so beautiful that at times, you might even wonder, is that real?

SAKURA.

the most beautiful flower in this world to bloosom.
it's pink.
ya. the color i hate most.
but it's not EVERYWHERE in the world, u get to see this flowers.
most of them will be at japan.
isn't it amazing?


then in Summer, first think in mind will be how hot the weather will be.
everyone will most probably be heading the beaches every now and then.
water-skiing, sun-tanning and more.
this is the time in life when you get to enjoy yourselves till the max, if you're the one that like the sun, of cause.
in life, you enjoy yourselves so much that you wouldn't even bother other problems/stress that you've been having. all you want is just to throw them aside, and let your heart and mind have some break. seeing all the smiles on other people' faces will also make ones happy too, thinking that life is REALLY not all about him/herself.


initially i thought i'll like SUMMER season the most.
thinking that i can be under the sun everyday. but then again, i'll be complaining the heat if i'm not at the beaches, doing my favourite things.


Autumn.
my favorite season.
the weather is neither hot nor cold.
just nice.
seems to be just like LIFE.
when you've to learn to let go of the past, and let new ones to come in.
the past will always be in our memories, it's just like those withered leaves/flowers.
turning from bright colors to dull colors.
it's just a matter of time and yourself to let go of everything.
imagine these maple leaves refuses to change color and fall.
will there ever be AUTUMN then?
=)
same theory goes for LIFE.



the maple leaves.
always wonder how these LEAVES can be so interesting.
the color of the leaves. the time when old leaves dropped, leaving spaces for the new leaves to grow.
roads will be full of all these leaves, making the place full of leaves.
depending on different point of views. some may think the roads will be darn dirty, and some will think that's interesting. cause it's only once a year.
then again, life's like this.
unwanted/unknown people or just simple, ORPHANS/PEOPLE left out of the society, are just like those leaves.
being left there all alone, lying on the roads, nobody caring about it.
even if there is, it'll be those road sweepers, sweeping them up and throwing them into the bins.
seems to depict the lives of all those people mentioned.


in winter.
COLDNESS comes to mind.
peole might be afraid or even hate the coldness, escaping to other hotter countries.
sound like in life, people running from reality, refusing to face it?
=)
but different seasons have different feelings.
at times, it's good to experience some harsh reality.
this way, one can learn from those mistakes and grow out from it.

SNOW FLAKES.

initially, everyone will think that snow are just snow.
but it was after sometime, when everyone start to realize it's not only snow, it's SNOW FLAKES.
we wont be able to see those snow flakes just like that.
we've to zoom in in order to see all those patterns clearly.
each snow flake has their significant and special pattern.
meaning you won't be able to find another identical one.
in life, everyone's an individual.
even TWINS are born like that.
they may look identical, but character-wise, they won't be.
god make it a point that everyone are special in their own traits and characters, to make everyone perfect in their own ways.
no matter one like another's character, he/she has to learn to accept it.
this way, we will be able to meet more wonderful people in our lives.


seems like i'm giving theory lesson about life again.
LOL.
but i guess, whatever i've written are true huh??
=)













how can i be smiling when you're gone...
will i be strong enough to carry on.

JOLENE:
i realized that whoever comes to work in HD, family problems is the staff's MAIN PROBLEM.

it's true.
and although it seem quite some time since she has said that.
i mean, it's like everyone seems to have all kinds of problems at home.
but everyone just try to avoid it whenever they're out of home. trying to running away from the cruel reality as usual.
back as always, no matter how late or how long one didn't go home, there's bound to be some day or time when we've to get back into the house of our own.

guess this is the first time im talking about this issue.
whenever people asked about my family, i'll just ignore the issue, pretend i didnt hear anything, or just talked about it briskly.
and normally, i'll just pretend nothing at home, and that everything will be fine the next day.
but it doesn't seems to be.

was talking to hui an about our family and stuff.
our mothers, siblings and how different our lives are with different treatments.

she's born in a family of only girls.
i'm born in a family of all boys.
so the treatment given to each one of us was different.

in her family, treatment was only different, depending on whether one's the oldest or youngest.
as usual, the youngest always get things that they want.
the older ones of cause have to strive for themselves.

but in mine, there's another difference.
difference in whether one's a male or female.
things will not be the same if one has the TRADITIONAL mindset.
being bias against girls.
now i guess some understand why i don't even think i'm a girl myself.
at times, i really wish i was born being a guy.
at least i get some love at home.

everyone asked me to try to understand her.
understand that she's on alot of stress, and that she might be suffering from depression.
but the more i try, the worse it seems to be.
i guess, in the end, it's not her that suffering, but me instead.
cause she always sees things in her point of view, and never spare any other thoughts for the rest. she always thinks that she's the one that's always right, whereas i'm forever the one in the wrong.
i mean, ya, at times, i am at fault. but those harsh words given are too much.
too much till the fact that at times, i start to suspect if i'm the real one anot.

in the past, i always tried to be strong in front of friends.
although most of them know that i had a fierce "HER" at home.
but all of them thought that i'm strong enough to overcome it.
i guess, it's not because i've strong willpower.
but because i choose to ignore it. i just simply don't care about it the next day.

these few days, i felt very redundant at home.
lost the sense of belonging since the day i had SUSPECTED food-posioning.
realized that no one even bother to care if i'm alright.
and i also realized that whenever i get sick, no one even noticed about it at all.
not even when i'm like coughing like mad.
can u imagine it?
like in school, people can ask if i'm alright anot.
but RIGHT AT HOME, no one even asked, "are u okie? feeling better? need to see doctor?"
only my elder brother joked around me saying, "wa.... keep going to toilet to LS. going to die soon is it?"
=.="
to make things worse, someone actually thinks that i'm feigning illness and get scolded for nothing.
like WHAT THE HELL?!?!
there i am, suffering from all kinds of pain all over my whole body, vomiting all kinds of shit and LS-ing all the way
but there it is, someone out there thinking that i'm just faking everything.
do i have to feign sick to gain sympathy.
i don't do that, and why in the first place would someone like me, trying to feign sick when everything's just so fine?
STUPID THINKING right?
i can try to fake everything, but not being sick.
for what reason?


there's so many things that was misunderstood.
too many misunderstandings that's too much to be cleared.
one day.
just that one day, when i just went missing from here............

unofficially graduated yesterday at 11.30AM.
after my last paper. =)
didn't really have much feelings cause after that was a mahjong session at Rachel's house.
wahaha..
hardworking huh??
after mugging for papers, we're mugging for mahjong, stimulating our brains to think more.
LOL.
been sometime since i've played, so i'm sort of playing the role of "God of Fortune".
wahaha... cheat my money.
=D


Rosy ask me these questions the day before.

R: so how's your ex-boyfriend?

G: i dont know leh. i think living very well.

R: still got contact him?

G: ya. like few days ago. (i guess it's been one week since i've talked to him.)

R: and you still like him right?

G: ........ *giving the sickening smile*

R: must be yes liao la.

G: i can say NO meh?

R: based on how long i've known you, and how well i've known you, i dont think you've forgotten him AT ALL.

G: maybe.

R: then you like him and derek more?

G: why ask this question?

R: confirm it's DEREK right? no need you to say i also know. HAHA.

G: what makes you think so? and why everyone STILL THINK THAT WAY?



it seems like DEREK is perfect. that's because we've never been together as a couple before. we've never been that close at all.
as for TH, what else can i still say?

seems like always getting cheated's like a routine now.
and getting more and more immune.
but every time, it hurts badly.

it's just so contradicting.
"scared of it, yet desire for it strongly."
there's so many "how i wish" and "if only" in mind.
but like what the words have said.
WISH.
wish don't come true just like that.

taking a break from here.
JUST THIS FEW DAYS.
to fight against last war of papers.
till then....


OFF TO GET MY BRAIN JUICES REPLENISHED IN MY DREAM!

been studying these few days. for the final exam.
FINALLY.
and have seen meeting up with Ms Sammy for almost everyday.
=)

chou xueli joined us today in school.
and the three of us happened to be EMO-in again.
seems like we're just waiting for the someone to start her period first, before everyone's period come huh?
=D

went all the way to YCK rd to eat prata.
like, WTH?!?!
two prata days in a week can!
=.="
i'm not MUTHU.
but never mind. eating prata can gain weight. LOL.
so many stories to talk on nowadays.
haha..

top stories of the week:
1. HALAL lipstick.
2. Chou xueli's bimbo-ness.
3. my MUTHU SAMMY's theory.
4. why chicken do not have NIPPLES?
5. the SHIT-sushi.
6. etc. etc....

why am i forever so full of stories?
like NEVER-ENDING can.
haha..
there will be a day, when i'll run out of it.
and that will be the day when i'm MUTE or DEAD.

but i think if i'm MUTE right, i'll be vigorously writing the stories.
and if i'm dead, i'll be floating around, trying to tel my story to someone DESPERATELY.
WAHAHA....


mum's complaining that i'm on diet, and that i'm losing all my nutrients, etc.
when the matter of fact is, I'M NOT EVEN ON ONE AT ALL.
like how in the world u want me to stuff food into my stomach when my appetite's getting smaller and i'm having some stomach problems nowadays.
so can't blame me. =)


SHIT. did two wrong things today.

1. brought a packet of milk to drink today when my stomach's still having problems. (common sense that one can't drink milk when one's having stomachache)
2. to make things worse, i've brought a ONE LITRE packet.

and from the time that i reached home till now,
which is about TWO HOURS, i've visited the toilet THREE TIMES.
HAPPY NEW YEAR liao.
=.="

"can YOU bring me to this place ONE LAST TIME?"

call it the emo period of the month or whatever.
just that, it just happen that things always love to happen during the period of my PERIOD.
so before my PERIOD comes, PMS/EMO BUG comes first.

TWO months passed just like this.
so fast. so soon.
to some. TWO MONTHS make a miracle. makes wonders.
thought things will be much better now.
but it doesn't seems like.

waking up everyday seems like a frustration now.
tried to wake up late everyday, hoping that time will pass faster this way.
it DID pass fast.
but not fast enough to take away troubles.

thoughts of HIM keep flashing through my mind.
EVERYDAY when i wake up.
i tried not to think.
i tried to avoid it.
but it just like to come into my mind.
if that's the case, how in the world can i ever forget about everything.
how long more do i still need.

how can HE just forget everything so easily.

"IT'S BEEN THAT CLOSE.
dump everything down, and leave her alone."

i pretend nothing happened whenever this period of the month comes.
pretending i don't know anything about him.
pretending things are back to normal again.
pretending life pass faster now,.
pretending all those smiles and laughter.
give me the job of a CLOWN.
i'll make sure i can be the BEST.

but what is all these for?
to show HIM that i'm happy with my life now?
to show HIM i'm much better without him in my life now?

then i think can just forget about it.
cause i can't do it.





















you know, how much i wanted to tell you,
things will only be better with you in it...

went out with cherilyn and samantha on friday.
really been a long long time since i've went out with them.
cause both of them are just so busy with their RELATIONSHIP.
and thank god. both of them happen to be not free to accompany them that day.
so in turn, they acocmpanied me.
=D

supposedly was to eat in school first.
and i wanted to drink my ice mocha for the last time.
but in the end...

I CAME TOO LATE!!!
auntie washed that mocha machine already!
so sad!!!!

anyway, brought sam to drink Teh Peng instead.
cause she never drink before.
such a nice TP and she has never drank before.
=.="

while wiating for cher to reach school, wee talking on a lot of stuff.
seems like it's been a long long time since i've talk to sam.
and she's forever laughing like mad over my senseless topics.
=)

our last last last last resort was going to TOWN.
and in the end, we really went.
cause sam wanted to look for Grace and the temptation of a movie.
haha...

on the way...








managed to met up with Grace.
she seems to be darn emo over her internship at Best Denki.
cause she wasnt able to sell the number of quotas given to her.
so once again, cher and i were there to entertain her.
and she actually thinks that Cher's much much 38 than me.
wahaha..
finally. someone thought otherwise.
BUT.
that was what Grace was thinking before she met us.
so i supposed after that, she'll be thinking, "GUCCI's even worse than cher."
wahaha..

funny thing was, she happen to be selling some navigator by the brand name of "TiBO".
and i was talking to them about an uncle called "TioBo".
so it sounds familiar, and there goes the joke again.
LOL.

while going off to cine...
saw this dustbin.
and i was wearing somthing similar to that color.
so....


i'm the dustbin's SISTER.
LOL.


and sam acutally wanted to throw rubbish into me.
maybe my job after graduation will be working as a dustbin, waiting for people to feed me with rubbish.
or maybe working in a rubbish company.
wahaha...













went to watch "Ah Long Pte Ltd".
mark lee's character is really incredible.
he caught that malaysian's accent and being a sissy.
this combination really make me dislike his character so much.
LOL.

and i was busy imitating him all the way.
darn funny can!

"... 要快, 要准,要美咯!"

'吓到我一跳,两跳,三百跳咯!"


rocky master to chill.
thanks to the both of them, i was supposed to go for some birthday party.
in the end, with their power, i'm like left with no choice at all.
always bully me.
LOL.












that's Grace.
some candid shot of her taken by cher.
=)




and they were trying to figure who to go home first, where to go later, and stuff.
so MA FAN.
lol.












ending with a RANDOM FOTO by cher once again!
=)






























Anyone of us can make a STUPID MISTAKE.

had my last tutorial on Thursday.
and it happen to be Valentine's Day.
=.="

Anyway, matthew sim sort of cheated our feelings.
like we've to travel one hour plus to school.
plus, i've to wake up darn early cause class starts at 9.
and i finally have the motivation to attend the class, since it's my last tutorial in TP.
in the end, it's only an HALF HOUR lesson.
sickening.


the so-called WHOLE class.
cause some people didnt turned up.
=D
i'm going to miss having tutorials and lectures in school.


patricia and me.
my FRIED RICE khaki.
haha..
and of cause together with Jason. too bad he didnt come to school.

met up with mongling after class.
and she became slightly emotional after her last lecture.
seems like she's also another one that don't want to leave school yet.
haha...

while waiting for hui an, walked around aimlessly in school.
and realized that school can be much more beautiful than what we think.
so much interesting.
=)







went off to Design Canteen for some lunch.
i think i'm going to miss all those cheap and nice food in school.
no more cheap cheap western food to satisfy my cravings1
LOL.


mongling and her Ribena...


and of cause my beloved TEH PENG!!!
LOL.
not too sweet. not too milky. not too tea-ish.
JUST NICE.
=D

enjoying the scenary....








my FAVORITE photo of the day!!
initially i just want to take some random photo of the school, by holding the camera at some stupid angle.
and mongling happen to be standing there.
portraying out what life's in TP.
with her forever so-thick file and the water bottle.
=)


so she tried to help me take one too!
=P






took so long just to take this photo.
cause she wanted to do this action.
and yet, there's many people walking about at the bridge.
so it's like, i've to wait for her to pose downstairs, while she's up there trying not to avoid people looking at her.
which is VERY IMPOSSIBLE.
wahaha..


the long long STAIRS...




mongling's favourite.
cause there's stairs behind and my face's just so front.
trying to make my face look bigger huh??
=D




a PROUD TP student.





and finally huian finished her lesson, and headed off to mongling's house.
cause she's freaking curious how mongling's mum looked like.
LOL.


in the olden times's lift.


that's mongling and her younger brother.
the way he's sitting look more like his father can.
wahaha...


and our gifts for mongling from different countries that we've visited before.
too bad she spoil huian's, with one hand missing already.
lol.


along the corridor...





at the bus stop...
we're just trying to advertise for "REVOLTAGE"
HAHA..
it just happen that the 3 of us brought shirts from the same shop.
=D






and just so happen our accessories are all BLACK.


hui an and her long long extension.
my god.
it's so freaking long, and i just dislike FAKE HAIR.
and imagine, all those fake hair, that come from SOMEWHERE, are attached to you.
and u've to take care it as though they're ur hair..
that's scary.

OFF TO CHINATOWN!!
don't ask me why in the world we're there on Valentine's Day.
haha..
cause we just want to avoid TOWN AREA and to find a place, where there's MINIMUM number of couples.
=D




letter box!

and continue to walk down to clark quay.
can't remember what the building is called.
but it's that prominent building just in front of Funan Center.
=D

COLORFUL BUILDING!


























the models with the most BA-BAs!
wahaha...



continue to walk down...










while taking all these photos in front of the door.
i thought it's was just a museum with no people.
but in the end, it's NOT a museum.
it's a REAL fire engine station.
and while we're taking photos, some guy actually peeked out to look at us.
and we've to pretend we're some tourists.
haha...
luckily he's good-looking, if not....
miss gucci won't let him off.
LOL.


our DREAM PLACE-TO-BE!
=D


while taking this photo, there's this one couple who walked pass us.
and i think they didn't know that we're taking photos.
so when we walked to the other side of the road, they actually peeked into the letter box, to see what we're looking.
wahaha..
darn funny can!
like, so KP for wad.
LOL.


looking at what to drink huh??
i think she's thirsty.
but she don't know what to drink.
=)


CHEERS!!!















enjoy the day and night with the girls.
though at times, at certain point of the time, HE still came back into my mind.
but then again, i rather things to be like that for now.
cause i don't want to have any HIGH HOPES any longer.
it just can make someone collasped even further..
=D