mongling. huian. maybelin. secret affair.

everyone says it's so sudden.
everyone says it's so random.
everyone says its unfair to me.

these few days of crying, i guess u girls know wad happen rite?
it's hard to just forget about everything.
it's hard to get over things so fast.
guess this is the time when u girls see me cry constantly.
the moment i see all of u individually, i just cant control my emotions.

third time to let huian see me cry.
sorry, girl. yest's reali not my day. thigs happen too fast and i cldnt get it.
and i've been keeping it at heart for a few days, so when i see u, i just suddenly felt loved.

and mongling. didnt cry the moment i see her.
but still cried in the end. i tried to ocntrol, just like wad u wan me to do. but i cant do it.
everytime, come to think of all those memories, i just cant seems to forget everythinh.

especially maybelin. she didnt even know wad happen and was freaking surprised to me break down in front of her. i didnt even say anything and all i get was a warm hug from her.
tat's too warming and i broke down more.

got to control my tear glands i guess. need to save some for FOW/FOC next yr.
i dun wan to turn blind first. =)

and secret affair. wanted to tok to her first. but she lost her voice. and finally today i cld hear wad she's toking. and the moment i heard her talking to me, emotions just came in.
she's the only one that told me,
"why u wan to control ur tears? keep on controlling for wad? dun u even feel worse doing tat? because u keep on controlling, tat's why u're still feeling very worse and still cant get over it. there's no familiar faces here, no one will look at u, so just cry out loud if u wan."

tanks huh??
=]
but whatever she said was quite true. at least going all the way to sengkang just to meet her wasnt a futile trip.
at least today was the FIRST day i finally crack a joke.
just felt tat finally i'm back to myself for ONCE. at the moment.


it is sudden. TOO sudden.
just like one day, or maybe a few hours, after happiness.
and i was told of all this.

it's unfair.
but come to think of it.
i cant blame anyone except myself.
myself for being selfish, reckless and not understanding.




thanks for everything. u girls are still the best. =)

TIRED from crying.
and all those uncontrolled tears flowing down.
things wouldnt have been like this if i'm a good girl.
always taking things for granted.
and thank god.

i'm down with a fever now.














i dun wish to respect your decision, cause my feelings for you are getting stronger.
can't do anything, except blaming myself for all this.
cant we just stay like how it is, and start anew from there.
i really dunno how to start from friends.
i just want YOU to be my one.
all i want is just ONE CHANCE.

sometimes comes to think of all those past memories, i've started to ask myself, is it POSSIBLE for years?

okie. i know. im losing my confidence again.

still remember when we first met one another, total bad impression of him in me.
cause i don't like people who wear uniform and smoke like as though it's very common. WHATEVER. and his attitude just sucks. so ACT COOL.

then we lose contact with one another for a few months.
both busy with our own lives. got a few times when we did sms one another, but most of the time, we didn't talk much.

remember the first time, when i saw him working at MS for CTC. my purpose of going there was to watch fireworks and it just happened that he was there, so decided to ask him to join both hui an and i. but he rejected, saying he was tired and stuff like tat. felt a little disappointed though.
nvm. after the whole thing, he called me while both of us were waiting for Jeremy and co. to come. it's just so random, like calling me and ask why i didn't reply his sms. i was too busy to do so. and from there we just kept on talking non-stop, while neglecting my beloved girlfriend beside me. haha...

then we lost contact again. was till one day in September when i was feeling darn bored after attachment, so decided to ask both Jeremy and him out for dinner. went all the way from kallang to changi airport just to have dinner. and while queuing for seats, he kept on asking me to accompany him cause he was all alone standing there. and as usual MISS Gucci's darn tired and just want to find a seat to sit while waiting, so pretend as though he's calling for AIR. haha...
both of us went in first, he sat at the corner seat, and kept asking me to sit in front of him, cause he don't like NOBODY to be in front of him. of cause i wont shift. like why would i want to? =)
and we quarrelled again. and while waiting for food to come, my cup of water accidentally slipped off my hand and everywhere was water. there he was, not helping but laughing like mad. so CHEK ARK. =.="
and to make things worse, we were talking about something, and he commented on my teeth. i was like, "BLOODY HELL. i know my teeth's total disaster, but at least it's not protruding out rite??" that sentence he made really pissed me off.
then both of them sent me to take bus from katong. tat was really the first i was there. took bus with him and that was the first time both of us actually sat down and talked nicely to each other, but there's wasn't enough time to finish talking. cause both of us were full of nonsense. =)

the next day, met up with maybelin and the both of them.
and again we quarrelled over senseless stuff. sometimes i'm just so sick of quarreling with him over all these, so i kept quiet. but he just like to start it again, making it seems as though there's reali ENDLESS quarrels..

then one fine day, was talking to him online. he seems darn depressed.
so tried to ask him to talk about it. but he just say LONG STORY and just went offline.
so i tried again. this time through SMS. cause i don't like people around me to keep things to themselves and make their lives suffer. he finally opened his mouth, and was actually frustrated over a girl that he like for past few months. all along i knew he had a girl in mind already. so no matter how many people told me that it's so obvious that he had some interest in me, i just refused to believe and say it's impossible. there's some infatuation going on, but i kept telling myself to either look at other people or remain as what i am then. =)

the next day, he took the initiative to talk to me first, telling me what the girl replied him and stuff about the girl. at that moment, no more infatuation. just treating him as a friend that i just knew.

as time passed, i realized we're getting to know one another better. but i still strongly believe that we're still friends, and nothing's going on between us. =)

one day, was supposed to go vivo with both jeremy and him. as usual, jermey PS us. that was the first time both of us went out alone together. we kept on having some physical contact but i just pretend that it was just an accident. then the feelings of infatuation just came back.
sometimes just hate myself for being like this.

then, he started to ask me out for dinner after my attachment. cuz PA was super near his house.
still remember there's was once when he lured me out for dinner. i refused, cause it's monday and im very tired, just wan to go home and rest. but he told me he had something to tell me. just that sentence made me felt so intensed the whole day.
but when i finally met him, he told me "NOTHING". i felt so cheated can. hahahah....

everyone keep telling me that it's coming SOON. but i told them, i don't want to. cuz i think i've lose confidence in it. secret affair kept asking me to give it one last try, but i just say i'll consider. den one sunday after working at HD, he asked me to watch movie with me. as usual, working on sunday mornings are darn tied, so i rejected him. but he INSISTED. so i've got no choice.
and he sent an sms and said that he wanted to take our relationship higher. of cause i pretend i didnt see it. while watching movie, i just felt so weird. he kept fidgeting about as though the movie's not nice to watch. and when i reached home, he actually told me that he wanted to hold my hand but was too shy and afraid to do so. i was laughing like mad can. cause all along i tot his face was quite thick. LOL.

and i just realized both of us didnt even pop the question to one another. it's just SO one fine day, and we're together. =D
come to think of it. i still cant believe that we're together. like it's really impossible.
but now, it seems like both of us are sticking to one another like sticky glue.
whenever i see him smiling at me, sometimes i just feel like crying.
cause those were the many times when i still cant believe that he's mine and that i'm so blessed to have him.
at times, i'll just kept quiet and he'll think that im throwing tantrums at him.
but actually in my mind, i was thinking, how can he tolerate all my nonsensical temper and blaming myself for being the childish one.

tat very day when i walked away from him from the bus stop all because of an tiny weeny issue. that hug really means everything to me. it just make me realized that he's always making sure that i felt his presence. but all i know was throw my temper and didnt spare a single thought to him. i always hate myself for being so childish and selfish.

u say u would cry together with me if anyone were to start first, but....

sorry for being the bad person.
sorry for giving you all kinds of attitude.
sorry for me making all kinds of assumptions.
sorry for being so selfish.
sorry for everything.


















all i want for my christmas wish is JUST YOU.

went out with babe on Thurs.
been some time since I've went out with him. due to his work and my camp.
and during camp, his line was being cut off, so it's like no communication means at all.
just miss talking craps and nonsense with him.
hahaha...

anyway, went to Marina Square...
initially wanted watch movie, but dunno why it turned out to be shopping.
LOL.
and the funny thing is, it was babe that said he wanted to shop.
in the end, it turned out to be me.
to it more funny, he's buying a dress for me.
wahahaaha...
wad a JOKE.
=D

it's like we went to ZARA 1st.
and normally, i knew he wouldnt even stepped into ZARA, cuz he don't like the clothes from ZARA. so it was quite weird. then he asked me to look around and see if there's anything i want.
that's like, JOKE.
ahahhaa...

anyway, couldnt get the dress i wanted.
actually there's a top from ZARA.
nice can.
haha... but in the end, dunno why we didn't buy. =)
so went off to town.

while waiting for bus...











playing with strangers too...
=P





and finally a dress's in my wardrobe.
wahhaa..
these few days, dunno wad's wrong with everyone.
started to buy dresses for me.
my mummy also brought one too.
LOL.
sorry ar... MISS Gucci's not as feminine as wad u people think.
im still very MAN at heart.
wahahaha...

anyway, went to HK cafe for dinner.
shopping really make one forget about dinner totally.
hahhaa...
was waiting outside for available tables..
den both of us started to think of the past, when we came here and were still not a couple yet...


maybelin and Jeremy were with us too.
it was maybelin who suggested going HK cafe to eat. as usual that two ANG MOH potatoes (Jeremy and babe) never eat before, so they were curious of wad's in there.
while waiting for seats outside, babe told Jeremy to leave both us girls to queue while they walked around. WHY??

cuz previously, the day before we went to changi airport for dinner. babe was queuing and no matter how many times he asked to me to accompany him, i purposely walked away and pretend nth happen. so the next day he started to take "revenge". total childishness.
haha..

anyway, things didn't stop there only. once we get inside the cafe, we were sitting in front of one another unknowingly. of cuz i dun like. cuz i dun wan to see his face every moment. it's just so sickening to see his face and we'll be quarreling non-stop. and he, being the stubborn one, also refused to give in and continued to sit in front of me. and I'm like all kinds of comments to him over everything. from head to toe, his accessories and his language. and both Jeremy and maybelin just cant stand it. Jeremy even told babe tat he felt weird being there. LOL. total JOKEness.

den while waiting for bus to go home, we were still quarreling over senseless stuff.

Jeremy: i cant believe wad if one day both of us were together. i think u both will be quarreling over SENSELESS stuff.

GUCCI: *look at babe from head to toe* hahaha... it's IMPOSSIBLE can. who wan to be with him? so childish can.

but look at where we are now?
=X

anyway, too much of digressing...

was given a seat that's like in the middle of everyone.
very weird can. like there's no privacy and all those around us can hear wad we're toking.
LOL.






my curry chicken noodle!
sudden craving for CURRY.
hahaha..


and babe's like "where mine?? im very hungry too!"
=p


his big big portion...


and our favorite mango snow mountain!
ever see anyone eat this and suffer from HELL coldness??
hahaha...


saw this at the bus stop.
and some ppls just cant stop staring at it.
hahaa..
cause he prefer the real GUCCI. i'm just the FAKE one, so he wouldnt take a look at all.
LOL.













went for babe's brother's birthday celebration yest.
at toa payoh's safra.
STRANGERS, STRANGERS and still STRANGERS.
PMS mood just refuse to let me socialize with people can.
LOL.


babe and his brother.
i dunno his name, but his initials was TK.
=)

and while everyone's busy socializing around and eating and singing, i was like a loner eating one corner.
hahah..
JOKE.
forever acting like a loner.
so there's only CAMERA, HANDPHONE, and sth else(u'll know later) to accompany me.


while they were busy taking fotos,

then just felt so weird to be in that room, and tot of walking about in SAFRA...











finally decided to go back tat small room, and was still left with a few coins, so decided to spend it all on...























































yes!!!
this machine that accompanied when im bored.
haha...
my favorite PHOTO HUNT. =D


us caught playing and not socializing.
hahah..
he had to accompany me, so no choice have to a loner with me too.
=p



den celebration starts.


the BIG BIG chocolate cake from SECRET RECIPE.
it's super duper chocolatey can!

suddenly miss HD's ice cream...


and the BIRTHDAY BOY.
21 year old oledi.
getting more and more old.
hahahahaha....













most precious GEM found in you...

has camp on monday. met up with hui an 1st at yishun and went for breakfast.


hui an and her camera pouch...

and both of us went to shit together.
haha.
funny can. just so sudden both of us wan to shit.
=D


and i just realized, as we get older, the things that we're bringing to camp seems to get lesser and lesser.
dun even need to see the list and we oledi knew wad's supposed to bring.


saw this at the bus stop's notice board.
cant even see properly wad the person's trying to write.
it's like every sentence are combined together.
hahaa..
took us some time to realize the person's tryin to be a babysitter and looking for people who need her service. LOL.

reach tampines and realized it's still a little early.
actually it's oledi going to be 12 noon. (we're supposed to report at 12.)
but just dun feel right of going to sch on time.
the feeling's just not rite.
and we know the whole tingy wont start on time. =)
so went to this toilet in CS to slack.
there's sofa and makeup seats in it.
the moment we saw the sofa, both of us just wan to lie on it and dun wan to go sch oledi.
hahaha...






finally we think that it's time to report.
and mongling's forever complaining that we're late.
making her to wait for us in sch.
isnt it obvious that we're doing it on purposely. =p



playing ice-breaking games and they've got forfeit.
haha..
stpuid samuel dancing..


caught maybelin SLACKIN on stage.


nothing better to do, so start to take some random fotos.
and trust me, i didnt mean to take that BUTT CRAP.
hahaha...
it jus happen to be like that.
=P


hui an and her empire's flag.


the OPHIX.
i feel so extra with the only one that's not wearing the ophix's shirt.
hahaah.
and i think out of all these ppls in this foto, i oni know cai yi ling, Jy and denise can.
da rest's just so EXTRA.
wahahaha...

den had our favourite supper in sch,.


our TOM YAM INSTANT NOODLE.
lazy to go out to sch actually.
hahah..


taken by MONGLING. nice huh??
haha...
just slack ard toking all kinds of stuff.
and 1st time we were asked to go back to the sports ocmplex.
if not, we'll be asked to go home.
funny rite???
maybe they think that we're not abiding the sch rules.
lol.


taken before we slp.
wad a random foto.
our beloved legs.
wahaha...


SECOND DAY.

camp-whoring early in the morning can.
actually it's not very early.
1st time we're supposed to report at 8am can.
other camps, we were asked to report at 7.
this camp is just so relaxing.
and i think im gettin older.
not enough slp is one thing.
my whole ache so much after slping on the hard floor.
last time, i didnt even have all this prob.
haha..
old oledi.








derek, me and adrian...
adrian's face is so big.
LOL.


us learning MASS DANCE.
gettin bored with this dance oledi.
like it's always the same moves.
so hui an and i added some funny stuff in.
RETARDED TAITAIs huh?? =x


our ASSUMED levi's shorts.
we just think that wadever we're wearing are branded.
haha..
when it's actually FOC la.


after all those sweats, went to the toilet.
and as usual, the mirror's so tempting.
hahah..
and i tell u.
it's TOTAL UNGLAMOROUS.
hahah..
i cant believe i can be so so so UNGLAM.
LOL.
















big boobs??


no boobs yet trying to squeeze some out.
hahaha...




miss big face no. 1


miss big face no. 2


little miss SMALL face!
hee..


she's trying to air her armpit.
=p




once again, she had some forfeit.
nv see her play forfeit can.
haha.
and she's imitating the guy in the mocca's advertisment.
=]


JY and me.
his empire's just beside me.
hahaa..

after lunch, had some games outside sch.
some station games...


our piece of art...
actually it's oni half of it.
cuz my camera screen's just to small to capture everythin.
LOL.


our flag1
nice rite??
designer's just the one beside it. MR SAMUEL!


mr sameul trying to act as a bollywood's tree.
eh... tree very difficult to act out okie.
wahahah..


THIRD DAY.


the CENTIS ladies...
"just LOOK HERE"
this phrase is so catchy can.
and we just love this shirt so much.
memories huh??
=D


cam-whoring during breakfast..

i think one wants the food BADLY.
haha..


maybelin and her favourite unglam pose..


look here!


GOOD LIFE.
and as of below, we're tryin to show everyone how GOOD LIFE we had.
hahaha...
"so u've got a GOOD LIFE??"
LOL.


samuel and one...


accion!


yolander...


ben chow...
he's a darn darn lamer.
and he dun even no himself.
ahhaha..


jacq.
2nd time to be in the same empire with her.
=)


yiting and me.
MY long-lost primary sch fren.
and i didnt no she wld join this camp too.
cuz all along i always nv see her.
hahaha..
some time to gather and revive some memories!
haha..
our "sharon aw's zhao pai dong zuo'
=D


ACCION!
when there's sth call BREAK and everyone just love to camo-whore.
haha..
i think my empire is the most cam-whore empire can.
lol.


maybelin and me...
stupid face..


us and one of da GLs.
i cant rmb wad's his name.
=D


JY trying to be retard.
so so JUN YONG.
=p

den start to camwhore with the girls again.
while waiting for the programers to start...




us and fang yong aka "FCUK YOU."
our CENTIS's freshie.
hahah...
he's just a nice nice little boy to hang out with.


derek, mong ling and me.
the XEONs.
the very very first FO we went to.
and i told mongling, when u 1st join FOC, u're with derek.
and now u're with him again at ur last camp.
just that the size of him is not the same.
wahahahah....


with kok guan, the LIAP CHIONG LIPS.
hahah.
he's didnt have enough time to react.


us again...





den finally it's time to go home...
this yr's otc is freaking early can.
cuz there's no final clash.
and it's like we finish everything by 7 plus.
normally that will be the time when all games were completed and everyone will be sitting down tryint to cheer for their last time.


that's our empire's best GL, Xavier.


US, ACCION!


ACCION again!
=D


my khakis...


sandra, samuel, steven and me.
why all their names start with "S" huh??
hahahaha...
nice khakis to crap abt.
why??
cuz we're the oni old birds in the empire.
hahaha...


our FAs.
all related to me can.
JINGWEN - my centis's freshie.
GERALDINE - my sub com's group mate.
MAYBELIN - my unglam khakis.
=D


the most INFAMOUS unglamourous girls ever...
stand together, everyone will be calling us ,"the 4 centis girls."
wahahhaa..


CENTIS!!!!!
i still love all of them so much...


RETARDS.
trust me.
that's my most unglam moments.
doing this kind of stunt in public.
it's total stupidity can.
LOL.
and they kept on forcing me to it togehter with them.
im not going to do it for the SECNOD TIME!
=x


the "BEENOX" team...


the "DRAGOS" team.
or sld i no say... "the unglam GIRLS and the crazy BOYS?


i think all of us look da prettiest and most handsome with all these poses.
hahaa...


anyway, PS the rest to eat ban mian at AMK with yiting.
ya i know. everyone were like, "wa lao. PANG SAY KIA".
but then, sometimes it will be wonderful to PS da whole camp just to eat dinner with a long-lost fren.
hahah...
tok, all kinds of crap and of cuz the olden times.
come to think of it, it's been 7 years since we've known each other.
i think if she didnt study in TP, we wld have lost contact long long time ago.
time reali pass darn fast huh??
=D


enjoy this camp. though there's all kinds of problems in my empire.
the worst i've ever been, to say the truth.
=)
but it's da last OTC, and it's just so nice to see all the "old people" back in the camp again.
=D