iamGUCCI

sometimes comes to think of all those past memories, i've started to ask myself, is it POSSIBLE for years?

okie. i know. im losing my confidence again.

still remember when we first met one another, total bad impression of him in me.
cause i don't like people who wear uniform and smoke like as though it's very common. WHATEVER. and his attitude just sucks. so ACT COOL.

then we lose contact with one another for a few months.
both busy with our own lives. got a few times when we did sms one another, but most of the time, we didn't talk much.

remember the first time, when i saw him working at MS for CTC. my purpose of going there was to watch fireworks and it just happened that he was there, so decided to ask him to join both hui an and i. but he rejected, saying he was tired and stuff like tat. felt a little disappointed though.
nvm. after the whole thing, he called me while both of us were waiting for Jeremy and co. to come. it's just so random, like calling me and ask why i didn't reply his sms. i was too busy to do so. and from there we just kept on talking non-stop, while neglecting my beloved girlfriend beside me. haha...

then we lost contact again. was till one day in September when i was feeling darn bored after attachment, so decided to ask both Jeremy and him out for dinner. went all the way from kallang to changi airport just to have dinner. and while queuing for seats, he kept on asking me to accompany him cause he was all alone standing there. and as usual MISS Gucci's darn tired and just want to find a seat to sit while waiting, so pretend as though he's calling for AIR. haha...
both of us went in first, he sat at the corner seat, and kept asking me to sit in front of him, cause he don't like NOBODY to be in front of him. of cause i wont shift. like why would i want to? =)
and we quarrelled again. and while waiting for food to come, my cup of water accidentally slipped off my hand and everywhere was water. there he was, not helping but laughing like mad. so CHEK ARK. =.="
and to make things worse, we were talking about something, and he commented on my teeth. i was like, "BLOODY HELL. i know my teeth's total disaster, but at least it's not protruding out rite??" that sentence he made really pissed me off.
then both of them sent me to take bus from katong. tat was really the first i was there. took bus with him and that was the first time both of us actually sat down and talked nicely to each other, but there's wasn't enough time to finish talking. cause both of us were full of nonsense. =)

the next day, met up with maybelin and the both of them.
and again we quarrelled over senseless stuff. sometimes i'm just so sick of quarreling with him over all these, so i kept quiet. but he just like to start it again, making it seems as though there's reali ENDLESS quarrels..

then one fine day, was talking to him online. he seems darn depressed.
so tried to ask him to talk about it. but he just say LONG STORY and just went offline.
so i tried again. this time through SMS. cause i don't like people around me to keep things to themselves and make their lives suffer. he finally opened his mouth, and was actually frustrated over a girl that he like for past few months. all along i knew he had a girl in mind already. so no matter how many people told me that it's so obvious that he had some interest in me, i just refused to believe and say it's impossible. there's some infatuation going on, but i kept telling myself to either look at other people or remain as what i am then. =)

the next day, he took the initiative to talk to me first, telling me what the girl replied him and stuff about the girl. at that moment, no more infatuation. just treating him as a friend that i just knew.

as time passed, i realized we're getting to know one another better. but i still strongly believe that we're still friends, and nothing's going on between us. =)

one day, was supposed to go vivo with both jeremy and him. as usual, jermey PS us. that was the first time both of us went out alone together. we kept on having some physical contact but i just pretend that it was just an accident. then the feelings of infatuation just came back.
sometimes just hate myself for being like this.

then, he started to ask me out for dinner after my attachment. cuz PA was super near his house.
still remember there's was once when he lured me out for dinner. i refused, cause it's monday and im very tired, just wan to go home and rest. but he told me he had something to tell me. just that sentence made me felt so intensed the whole day.
but when i finally met him, he told me "NOTHING". i felt so cheated can. hahahah....

everyone keep telling me that it's coming SOON. but i told them, i don't want to. cuz i think i've lose confidence in it. secret affair kept asking me to give it one last try, but i just say i'll consider. den one sunday after working at HD, he asked me to watch movie with me. as usual, working on sunday mornings are darn tied, so i rejected him. but he INSISTED. so i've got no choice.
and he sent an sms and said that he wanted to take our relationship higher. of cause i pretend i didnt see it. while watching movie, i just felt so weird. he kept fidgeting about as though the movie's not nice to watch. and when i reached home, he actually told me that he wanted to hold my hand but was too shy and afraid to do so. i was laughing like mad can. cause all along i tot his face was quite thick. LOL.

and i just realized both of us didnt even pop the question to one another. it's just SO one fine day, and we're together. =D
come to think of it. i still cant believe that we're together. like it's really impossible.
but now, it seems like both of us are sticking to one another like sticky glue.
whenever i see him smiling at me, sometimes i just feel like crying.
cause those were the many times when i still cant believe that he's mine and that i'm so blessed to have him.
at times, i'll just kept quiet and he'll think that im throwing tantrums at him.
but actually in my mind, i was thinking, how can he tolerate all my nonsensical temper and blaming myself for being the childish one.

tat very day when i walked away from him from the bus stop all because of an tiny weeny issue. that hug really means everything to me. it just make me realized that he's always making sure that i felt his presence. but all i know was throw my temper and didnt spare a single thought to him. i always hate myself for being so childish and selfish.

u say u would cry together with me if anyone were to start first, but....

sorry for being the bad person.
sorry for giving you all kinds of attitude.
sorry for me making all kinds of assumptions.
sorry for being so selfish.
sorry for everything.


















all i want for my christmas wish is JUST YOU.